Seven Hells Sent, er-- Heaven Sent

seems like

this all happened

in a previous century

let's call her Suzie

she's autistic

though she does not believe me whenever i tell her,

orphaned at age eleven

and raised by the state,

bullied by others

but since she could not understand what they meant

about her being different

they simplified by saying they bullied her

"for being skinny"

which incorrectly focused her on the wrong reason

but

fortunately

caused her to grow up super health-conscious

and become a rather skilled and avid weight trainer

sure, i'm no doctor

and she's never been officially diagnosed autistic

but she hides in her room all day in Ohio

and has zero empathy,

i mean zero

although

she exhibits admirably fierce loyalty and protectiveness

towards family and friends

and

she shows signs of potential language abilities

so a retiring nurse friend told me

she might even have Aspergers

oh hey

that's a strong positive

but

she has zero charm

and is the complete opposite of a smooth talker

irritating or angering me every five seconds

nobody understands her, she says,

and she makes incredibly poor decisions

because she becomes fixated on the most unimportant things

but i've stuck with her online for a year

messaging each other every single day

because i've discovered

she is an innocent soul inside

albeit well-tattooed outside,

and

alright

i have very strong empathy

for the suffering of others

especially the weak

we've never met

and i'd never told my parents and brother she even existed

but my friends knew all about her

and each and every one absolutely despised her,

despises

present tense

and probably future tense too

she fell very ill

then vanished from online in autumn

but

three weeks later

she messaged me

and

two days later

i accidentally noticed the message

she had run out of money in Ohio

and got evicted

then somehow ended up in Montana

homeless

penniless

at the start of wintry weather

and never told me

the rescue

within a couple hours of learning of her plight

i made a haphazard prep for same day travel,

passport --- check

winter gear in car --- nothing

money --- minimal

sleep --- none

ok, ready to go

then i informed my family of her existence

and my planned rescue,

boy was my brother mad

as i described her high-maintenance personality

and the horrible weather forecast

it would have been a ten-hour road trip for me

and a severe snowstorm was about to hit the mountains,

i would have arrived right in the middle of it

likely sliding off into the ditch

upside down with my horn in a permanent honk

while more snow buried my fossilizing dead body

so

i paid for a Greyhound ticket instead to Great Falls

to get her ahead of the storm

and bring her to this flatter

more prairie-ish side of the mountains,

i asked her to pretty please get on that bus

then i could pick her up safely

and avoid the storm completely

she absolutely refused to get on the already-paid-for bus

insisting she would wait for her once-a-day free meal first

because she was hungry,

i told her food and me

would both reach her only an hour

after she'd have arrived in Great Falls

but she kept refusing

so when i started barking orders

to get on that damned bus

she cursed right back

telling me she'd done just fine without me for weeks

fine?

you're homeless!!!

should i panic?

i'm pretty worried for her because of the cold weather

and only barely recovered from her illness

but

i believed she really showed

she did indeed have a mysterious knack

for surviving as a homeless street urchin in winter

so

i told her to hang in there

i would wait one week

for the storm to pass

and for my next payday at work

and for my next days off,

just one week

and i would come rested and prepared

very fully prepared

a few days later

she vanished from online again

this time for two days

so i had second thoughts

and determined not to go at all

but

15 minutes before i could cancel

the $750 rent plus $400 deposit

i'd offered on a one-bedroom apartment for her,

she messaged

so

i blew the first 1150 bucks on the apartment

and the oncoming rescue mission was a go ...